Grandpa Would've Known....

Wish I Had Asked More Questions



William Robert Couch



My grandfather died when I was 16. He was fairly young, only 64 when he died, just three months after his father died. He was born the year that Spindletop made Texas "oil country", the oldest of his siblings, he attended college before he graduated high school, he worked the oil fields at Ranger, Texas during their short-lived oil boom and became a civil engineer, working for the Santa Fe railroad and later the United States Weather Bureau.

But this story isn't really about him. It is about my mother and I. We did lots of research together. We shared information and had many discussions, some heated, about what this information or that information meant and where it could lead us.

The one thing that we shared was that I would say "Grandpa would have known the answer." Or she would say, "Daddy would have known about that." We both agreed that we both should have asked more questions.

But I was young and had my head buried in a book. Family history was only interesting to me when I heard the stories. Wish I could remember them all.

Mother did not start researching until ten years after her father died, so she never asked what he knew about his family.

What's the Point Here?

While I had only one grandparent still living when I started my research, I still had several great aunts and uncles and many older cousins.

I visited several of these great aunts and uncles and some of my grandparents cousins, but I was only interested in photographing their pictures. I half-listened to their stories. I did try to pick up on what the pictures were about.

I should have asked more questions.

Why Listening and Asking Are Worth the Time

Several of my mother's cousins are still alive. One of them visits my home once or twice a year. I now listen to his stories. (Remember I have learned from my lost opportunities.)

The most revealing story was at a Thanksgiving celebration in my home. He and his children had come for dinner and he was telling his stories. I knew he had been married several times, so I asked him how many times he had been married and he said, "Five." Both his daughter and I were shocked. We knew he had been married 4 times. So I asked who his first wife was. Turns out, his first marriage lasted less than 24 hours. The girl's father found out and had it annulled the very next day. None of us knew.

What I Learned

I learned that I should have asked more questions.

I learned that when I listen to the older members of my family, I find out interesting things.

It's never too late to start asking questions and listening to the stories.

Click here (What Do I Do Next) to learn how to interview your family to get great family stories and clues.

Sandra

Genealogy Tutorial

P.S. Comment on my experience or add your own experiences in successful interviews and missed opportunities .

Go to School

Why I Went to School

As an educator, I know the value of learning. Teachers try to instill in their students a love of learning, because they know that learning is a part of our lives. This is just as true for genealogy research as it is for students in school and employees in the workplace.

When I began my genealogical quest, I hardly knew what I was doing. There was no internet then and no computers for individuals to use. [No, I do not miss those days. I LOVE my techo toys!!]

What "Schools" Do I Choose?

My first school was through the local community college, known as a "junior college" back then. They offered a series of community service classes, so I checked out the spring schedule. There was a listing for a beginning genealogy class. I signed up. Sylvia was our instructor and she made the class fun and informative. She covered the "basics."

Once a year, the local genealogy society would offer a day long conference with 20+ classes on a variety of genealogical topics. I would sign up for several classes. This conference was not very expensive, generally around $20. I still use the handouts I received as reference material. Find the one in your area using a Google search.

I also attended the annual conferences that the local Family History Center held. This were similar to the genealogical society conferences. There were many choices of topics to choose from. The conference was free. For $5 you could purchase a set of the handouts from every session. I have one for every conference I attended. I still use them as reference materials.

My sister-in-law and I decided we would meet once a week to study specific topics. We made a year long schedule and took turns preparing materials from the internet and books we purchased or checked out from the library to use for learning and discussion. We studied every topic we could think of, so we could learn how to be effective and successful in our research.

With the advent of the internet, not only do I now have access to a huge amount of information on how to research, but also access to the great variety of subjects that are relevant to genealogy--history, geography, sociology, economic patterns and events and so on.

I use the lessons and e-zine articles online to further my knowledge on research techniques, records that are available and what is new online.

Going to School Can Produce Big Aha Moments

A few years ago, I had a chance to attend one of the National Genealogical Society's conferences. I highly recommend them to anyone who has a chance to attend. Since I am from Texas, most of my ancestors were Southerners and this conference had a strand that focused on researching in Southern states. I attended sessions on Maryland, Virginia and Tennessee/North Carolina. I also attended a session on The Master Genealogist software.

The best session I attended was the one on Tennessee/North Carolina, by an instructor and professional genealogist from Tennessee, J. Mark Lowe. Maybe you remember Mark from the Lionel Ritchie episode on Who Do You Think You Are?

I learned from Mark's class that not only did our ancestors cross county lines to record deeds and get married, but they also crossed state lines. They went to whatever courthouse was close and convenient.

As a political science major, I knew that the boundaries between counties, states and countries were not drawn on the ground, only on maps.

Who knew that could apply to my genealogy research?

I call it an "aha moment", some might call it "Duh!"

What I Learned

I learned so much from that beginning genealogy class that I still use today.

I learned how to complete ancestor charts and family group sheets.

I learned that birth and death certificates were not required before the early 1910s in most states. Neither were marriage licenses.

I learned how to write a letter requesting information from county record offices and to write letters requesting information from individuals. [Yes, we had to write letters and mail them by 'snail mail.'] And you will do some letter writing yourself.

I learned how to approach the county clerk and what types of records I could expect to find in the county courthouse.

I also learned that not all first-born babies are born 9 months or more after the marriage and that we all have skeletons in our family closet. Note: if you are afraid of those skeletons, this is NOT the hobby for you. I am fascinated by them.

I learned what information I should collect to be able to properly document the sources of the information I collected. Interestingly enough, it was the same information I had to collect for all those research papers I did in college, a skill that has come in handy in my genealogy research.

I learned that not everyone provides you with accurate information and that even official government records can and will contain errors.

I have taken several local classes since then and in the last ten years have taught many classes for local genealogy groups. Whether I am the student or the instructor, I always learn something new.

My sister-in-law and I learned that you have to document everything and believe no one's research until you have verified their research.

Mark Lowe, during his session on Tennessee and North Carolina research, gave us a tip on how to discover the migration trails of our ancestors. He suggested that we get a tourist brochure that shows the historical sites and "connect the dots." The places that our ancestors left for us to visit help us cross the country to see the paths that they chose to travel.

From this tip I was inspired to study migration patterns to discover what paths our ancestors used. I learned that they did not travel in a straight line from point A to point B. And I learned that where they went they frequently left records.

Why Going to School is Important

The more I "go to school", the more successful I become in finding the answers to my genealogical questions, but more importantly, the more I can understand why my ancestors made the life decisions that they did.

By continuing to search for new information, which is what schooling is all about, I am able to learn what new documents are available online, what new software is available, what new records have been "discovered" and to always review things I have forgotten.

Whether you are new to genealogy or experienced, check out these tutorials.

Sandra

Genealogy Tutorial

Take Notes on Loose, Archival Quality Paper

How I Got Started



Lela Virgie Miller Shoup 1893-1980



My grandmother died on 1 August 1980. As my parents, my sister & I sat around after the funeral, we did what all families do on these occasions--we began to share family stories and memories. As we sat there, I realized that I was losing my family's past. All my great-grandparents were gone and with the passing of my father's mother, I only had my mother's mother left, as both of my grandfathers had passed many years before. For years I had listened to their stories--where they came from, what their parents were like, how they had lived their lives.

I wanted to capture what I could before my memories became too faint. So I began my genealogical quest. My mother had begun several years before, so I had access to her notes and research.  But I wanted to ask my own questions and take my own notes. 

I bought a 4 subject spiral notebook. It seemed a logical choice. I could use the separate sections to divide the four ancestral lines I had chosen to research. The dividers had pockets to hold loose papers. I had visions of taking all my notes in a very logical, organized way, much like I had in all my college classes. I numbered all the pages for each section. I was excited that I could carry all my research everywhere I went, making all my information readily available.

Mistakes I Made

I look back now and laugh at my simplistic vision of genealogy research. I quickly ran through one section of the spiral working on one ancestral line, while the other three sections were virtually empty. So I bought another spiral, now I had to carry two spirals (4 sections each. I was determined to continue with my chosen strategy.) After a few months, it became apparent that the spirals were a bad idea. While they kept everything together, I was carrying far more weight (two 4-subject spirals) than I had expected and I continually had to search through the pages of my notes for information I had collected.

I also discovered that as I collected information and added more surnames, I could not separate my notes for those names. Now I had multiple surnames on the same page of notes. So my Roberson notes were mixed in with my Shoup notes and my Miller notes.


It was also hard to keep track of what I knew about each individual and family group. I recorded my information on pedigree charts and family group sheets, but they did not provide places for all the details on each individual, nor for the larger family stories (no computers or software back then.)

I made file folders for each individual, but because my notes were mixed together, I had to make multiple photocopies of note pages so I could file the correct notes with each individual.

And then there was the problem of which notebook I needed to look at to find the note I was looking for. I would sometimes have to look through 50 or more pages of notes to find the exact information that I needed.

Twenty years later, I discovered that my original note pages had begun to yellow and the ink was faded on some pages.

What seemed like a good idea was not.

I have taken those notebooks apart since then and now am scanning all those notes, so they will not be lost forever. With the genealogy software programs that are now available, I am able to capture every tidbit of information and associate it with all the individuals each note references.


What I Learned


I learned that when I need to take notes on paper I use 8 1/2" x 11" paper, so all notes are the same size.

I learned to use loose (unbound) paper so that I can easily file my notes and documents.

I learned that by using archival quality paper and archival ink pens, my notes will not yellow and they will be readable in 20 years.

I learned to take notes for each ancestor on a separate page, so I can place my notes in the proper individual file.

I learned to keep a research log, so I can track what I have done.

I learned to make an index of what documents I have for each ancestor.

I learned that I needed a filing system that maintained only one copy of each document or page of notes.

We live in a digital age. I am embracing it. When I take notes now, I use my laptop and my digital camera. As soon as I get home from researching, I link the images to my research log and my genealogy software. I record the information collected in my genealogy software program.

I learned that digitizing my family history requires time and effort, but the products produced are easy to share with other family members.

I still like spiral notebooks, but not for my genealogy research.

Check out my tips on how to get started with your research.

Sandra
Genealogy Tutorial